Alona Grove Getaway: Bohol's BEST Kept Secret (Paradise Awaits!)
Okay, alright, buckle up buttercups! Because I'm about to spill the tea, the buko juice, the everything on Alona Grove Getaway: Bohol's BEST Kept Secret (Paradise Awaits!). And let me tell you, after spending a week there… well, let's just say I've got some feelings. Prepare for a review that's less polished brochure and more, well, me.
Let's start with the basics, yeah? Because who has time for flowery language when you're desperately trying to find the best beach in Bohol?
Accessibility: Did they think of everyone?
Okay, so listen, if you're looking for super-duper, roll-up-to-your-room-in-a-wheelchair accessible heaven, Alona Grove might not be it. They do have facilities for disabled guests, but the lay of the land (Bohol is hilly, remember!) seems to be a bit… well, ambitious. The elevator? Bless its heart, it exists. But navigating the pathways… I didn’t personally need it, but I did spot some folks struggling a bit, so heads up there. And a big shout-out to the doorman and staff who definitely went above and beyond whenever a little extra help was needed.
On-Site Accessible Restaurants/Lounges: Hmmm… didn't see a ton of obvious accessibility, TBH. More research is needed here, especially for the specific restaurant and lounge setups.
Internet and Tech: Wi-Fi Wonderland (Mostly)
Right, let’s talk internet. Because, let's be real, are you even on vacation if you can't immediately upload a selfie to Instagram? Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! YES! I'm talking a solid connection, which is huge for remote workers like myself. I had a few Zoom calls (okay, many Zoom calls – don't judge!), and the Wi-Fi held up beautifully. And they had LAN internet access if you wanted to go old-school. Wi-Fi in public areas was also pretty solid. Thank god, because I'm a constant hotspot-user too, and it's important to find the best connection!
Cleanliness and Safety: Feeling Safe, Feeling… Clean?
This is where the Alona Grove really shines. Remember, this was post-pandemic. Sanitizing was SERIOUS business. Anti-viral cleaning products? Check. Daily disinfection of common areas? Check, double-check! Staff trained in safety protocol? Big check. They even had those little hand sanitizer stations EVERYWHERE. You couldn't swing a dead cat without hitting one! (Side note: please don't swing any cats). Room sanitization opt-out? YES! They were very clear about it. They didn't make you feel guilty or pressured to have it done, which I really appreciated. Rooms sanitized between stays? Duh! Hand sanitizer? Everywhere. Safe dining setup? Absolutely. Sterilizing equipment? Probably, I didn't get to see the inside of the sterilizing room, but knowing the level of detail and hygiene, I can imagine it. Individually-wrapped food options? Yep. I even spotted staff members changing gloves before every single food preparation.
The Food, Glorious Food: Eating My Way Through Paradise
Oh. My. Goodness. The food! This is where Alona Grove went from "nice" to "absolute heaven" for me. Let's break it down, shall we?
- Restaurants: Plural! There was a main restaurant, a poolside bar, and a little coffee shop that I practically lived in.
- Asian Breakfast: YES! I'm a sucker for a good tapsilog, and let me tell you, theirs was chef's kiss.
- Western Breakfast: YES! Eggs, bacon, toast… the works. They catered to everyone, honestly.
- Breakfast [Buffet] and Buffet in Restaurant: They had a buffet, which was a solid win. You could stuff your face till you popped (figuratively, of course).
- A la carte in restaurant: Available, and a good option for lunches and light dinners.
- Coffee/tea in restaurant: I felt like I was permanently wired on their coffee. It was that good.
- Poolside Bar: Perfect for chasing sunsets and sipping cocktails. Happy hour was a must-do.
- Happy hour: Don't miss it. Seriously.
- Bar: Yes. Good selection.
- Coffee shop: Essential. Early morning coffee fix, late afternoon snack – it was my happy place.
- Desserts in restaurant: Oh, the desserts! I may or may not have eaten my weight in mango sticky rice. (Spoiler alert: I did).
- Snack bar: Great for grabbing something quick between dips in the pool.
- International cuisine in restaurant, Asian cuisine in restaurant, Western cuisine in restaurant: They had it all. It was fantastic.
- Room service [24-hour]: Bless them! Late night snack cravings? They've got you.
- Alternative meal arrangement: They were very accommodating with dietary requests. I saw people getting special meals, and the staff handled it beautifully.
- Bottle of water: Free water everywhere, thank heavens.
- Salad in restaurant & Soup in restaurant: Yes!
- Vegetarian restaurant: They catered SO well to vegetarians. I saw an amazing menu.
- Essential condiments: All present and accounted for.
- Sanitized kitchen and tableware items: Obvious.
The Spa (My Happy Place, My Addiction):
Okay, friends, let's talk about the Spa (Spa/Sauna, Steamroom, Body scrub, Body wrap, Foot bath, Massage). This is where Alona Grove truly won my heart. I mean, come on—Sauna? Pool with view? It was pure bliss.
I got a massage every single day. Don't judge me. The therapists were amazing. I think I floated away after every session. The body scrub was divine. I emerged feeling like a new woman. The foot bath was the perfect way to end the day. The steamroom was lovely. And the pool with a view? Spectacular. I spent hours just soaking up the sun and the scenery. This is where I found my absolute ZEN! I could have easily just lived in the spa.
Things To Do, Ways to Relax (And Not Always in That Order):
Don't worry, Alona Grove isn't just about lying around getting pampered (although that's a perfectly valid option!). They have all the usual suspects:
- Swimming pool [outdoor]: Gorgeous. Clean. Well-maintained. Multiple pools!
- Fitness center, Gym/fitness: They had a gym, which is great if you feel the need to burn off all the amazing food. I did not, but it was there!
- Air conditioning in public area: Yes.
- Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site]: Parking was easy.
- Luggage storage, Safety deposit boxes: Standard and efficient stuff.
- Meeting/banquet facilities, Meetings: Business travelers, rejoice. They've got you covered.
- On-site event hosting: They have some gorgeous spaces for weddings or special events.
- Terrace: Lovely place to chill.
The Rooms: Cozy Nests or Just a Place to Sleep?
My room? Pretty great. Clean, well-appointed, and with a balcony that overlooked… well, something beautiful. I didn’t pay much attention to the room as I was barely spending time in it as it was.
- Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Blackout curtains, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, In-room safe box, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, Private bathroom, Refrigerator, Satellite/cable channels, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], Window that opens: Yep, they all have it.
- Additional toilet, Bathtub, Bathroom phone, Carpeting, Closet, Desk, Interconnecting room(s) available, Internet access – LAN, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, On-demand movies, Reading light, Scale, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Umbrella, Visual alarm: All present.
- I'm not entirely sure when I put the black out curtains to use, but the bed was great. A good solid sleep is a must. The Quirks and the "Eh's":
Okay, no place is perfect. Here are a few of my more… critical observations:
- Lack of Pets Allowed: It’s a shame it’s unavailable.
- Proposal spot:
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into my disaster-waiting-to-happen, I mean, charming Bohol adventure. This isn't your pristine, Instagram-filtered itinerary, folks. This is the raw, the real, the "did I pack enough sunscreen?!" edition. We're staying at the Alona Grove Tourist Inn, which from the photos looks like paradise, and from my experience… well, we'll get there.
Bohol Bonanza: A Messy, Wonderful Itinerary
Day 1: Arrival & Beach Bliss… or Bust (and a Near-Meltdown Over Coconuts)
- Morning (8:00 AM - Eternity): Arrive at Tagbilaran Airport. Okay, first hurdle. Landing smoothly? Check. Baggage claim? Okay, my bag is taking a little scenic tour around the carousel… Oh, there it is! Relief washes over me. Now, finding the tricycle (that's what they call the local motorcycle taxis) chaos begins. Navigating the throng of drivers, all yelling "Alona Beach?!" is a workout. But hey, adventure! Managed to haggle a decent price (I think).
- Mid-Morning (9:30 AM): The ride to Alona Grove. Smelling salt, because boy, the traffic is something else. It's a symphony of honking and close calls. The scenery, however, is gorgeous. Lush greenery, glimpses of the sea…I’m already feeling a little less stressed.
- Late Morning /Early Afternoon (11:00 AM): Check-in at Alona Grove. The hotel’s…quirky. It's got a certain charm, though. The room is basic, but clean. The AC is humming, the bed looks comfy, and the balcony… overlooks a garden. Score! Time to unpack. Or, rather, time to attempt to unpack. My bag is a vortex of chaos after that baggage carousel experience.
- Afternoon (1:00 PM): Lunch at a beachside restaurant. The sand is blindingly white. The water is turquoise and calm. I’m starving. I order, what was advertised as a "fresh coconut". The waiter brings it. I stab at it with my straw. Nothing. Nothing. I try again. Empty. I flag someone down. "Is this…empty?" I manage to croak out, my voice rising in pitch. Turns out the coconut was already opened? I have never been so disappointed by an object in my life. After some negotiation later, finally, there is a sweet, cold coconut. I'm immediately revitalized.
- Late Afternoon (3:00 PM): Beach Bum Time. Swimming, sunbathing. Realizing I forgot sunscreen. Panicking a little. (But, a little coconut water is a great moisturizer, right?!). This is the closest I will come to total beach bliss for the trip.
- Evening (6:00 PM): Stroll along Alona Beach. The sunset is unreal. The beach is buzzing with people. Dinner at a beachside grill. Grilled seafood, cold beer. Utter happiness. Finally, it's all starting to come together.
- Night (8:00 PM - Late): Drinks and live music at a beach bar. The music is loud, the crowd is energetic. This feels like a party. It’s a fun night. But, I'm also tired after a long day, so I return to my room, and fall into bed.
Day 2: Chocolate Hills, Tarsiers, and a Road Trip to Remember (…Or Forget?)
- Early Morning (6:00 AM): Wake up before my alarm. Jet lag, baby! Grab a coffee and watch the sunrise from my balcony. The garden is actually lovely.
- Morning (7:00 AM): The big tour day! We’ve booked a driver/guide to take us to the Chocolate Hills, Tarsier Sanctuary, and maybe a boat tour. Breakfast at a roadside carinderia (local eatery). Rice, eggs, and the BEST coffee. Fueling up for the day.
- Late Morning (9:00 AM): Chocolate Hills are…well, they’re chocolatey! They’re also incredibly touristy. The stairs up to the viewing platform are a killer but the view is worth it. Definitely Instagram-worthy and something to be amazed by. The sheer scale of these hills is surreal. I take a million photos to try and capture the magic, but it's not even close.
- Midday (11:00 AM): The Tarsier Sanctuary. Oh. My. Goodness. These little guys are adorable and a little creepy at the same time. Like tiny, furry aliens. I'm utterly captivated. The sanctuary is doing important conservation work. The sheer size of their eyes is incredible! Taking a thousand photos of the sanctuary (which I have no shame in) . Don't touch them and keep your distance, please!
- Afternoon (1:00 PM): Lunch. We stop at some random place along the road. It's delicious, but I can't remember what I ate. (Maybe it was the lack of sleep, maybe it was the heat…or maybe it was the beer.)
- Afternoon (2:00 PM): The Loboc River Cruise. It’s pleasant, even if the buffet food is a little…meh. The scenery is stunning. Lush jungle on either side of the river, and the atmosphere on the floating restaurant is super-relaxed. Relaxing, listening to the music, and enjoying the river is fantastic.
- Late Afternoon (4:00 PM): The return trip. It’s a long journey. The car AC finally stopped working. I've never been so thankful to finally get back and cool down.
- Evening (7:00 PM): Dinner at a restaurant near the Inn. I’m exhausted after the day, but so happy.
Day 3: Island Hopping, Snorkeling, and the Drama of a Lost Flip-Flop
- Morning (7:00 AM): Wake up (with a lot of groaning). Today's the island-hopping tour! Quick breakfast.
- Morning (8:00 AM): Boat trip to Balicasag Island for snorkeling. The water is crystal clear. Then, to Virgin Island! I never saw water so perfectly blue. The marine life is amazing. I forget to take a picture!
- Late Morning (10:00 AM): Snorkeling time! The coral is pristine. The fish are vibrant. I almost run out of air. But, I see a sea turtle! Pure magic. I wish I had a better camera.
- Midday (12:00 PM): Virgin Island. The sandbar appears at low tide. So many starfish! And…my flip-flop vanishes. GONE. Poof. Vanished into the sand like a ninja. I spend a good ten minutes searching, digging, cursing the universe. But no luck. I’m now shoeless.
- Afternoon (1:00 PM): Lunch on the boat. More grilled food, less drama.
- Late Afternoon (3:00 PM): Boat ride back to Alona Beach.
- Evening (6:00 PM): Sunset (again!) and a new pair of flip-flops (thank goodness). Dinner at a restaurant, and I write in my journal while I feel the sun.
- Night (8:00 PM): An early night. Packing. I'm exhausted but happy.
Day 4: Departure - The Part Where I Don't Screw Up (Hopefully)
- Early Morning (6:00 AM): Wake up. Final breakfast. One last view of the garden. I can hear the birds chirping.
- Morning (7:00 AM): Check out of Alona Grove. The staff is friendly.
- Morning (8:00 AM): Heading to the airport.
- Late Morning (9:00 AM): Goodbye Bohol!
Final Thoughts:
Bohol was a beautiful, wonderfully chaotic, and slightly messy adventure. It had its ups and downs - the coconuts, the flip-flop, the traffic - but I wouldn’t trade it! The people are warm, the scenery is stunning, and the food is delicious. I leave with a tan, a hundred photos, and a deep appreciation for the simple things in life. Alona Grove, you provided a comfortable, quirky, and memorable home base. Definitely a trip I'll never forget - even if I sometimes wish I could! Now, get ready for my next adventure… and maybe I'll pack two pairs of flip-flops this time.
KSL D'Esplanade: Your Dream Johor Bahru Studio Awaits!
Alona Grove Getaway: Bohol's BEST Kept Secret (Paradise Awaits!) ... Or Does It? A Totally Honest FAQ
Is Alona Grove REALLY the "best kept secret?" Because, like, secrets are supposed to be...secret.
What's the vibe like? Are we talking "luxury resort" or "rustic charm?" Or, like, "trying to be both and kinda missing?"
The food! Fill me in on the food situation. Breakfast buffet? Amazing local eats? Or, you know... "meh"?
What about getting around? Renting a scooter? Walking everywhere? Lost in the jungle of Bohol?
Is it noisy? I need quiet. Like, REALLY need it.
Let's talk Beaches. Are the beaches nearby good? Like, postcard-worthy good?
What is there to do besides sitting by the pool?
Any drawbacks? Be honest!
Okay, so... would you recommend Alona Grove Getaway? The bottom line?
